Give Yourself Permission to Screw Up!
Renee Daggett • October 30, 2019
I am in a book club and Kristen Hadeed’s book, “Permission to Screw Up: How I Learned to Lead by Doing (Almost) Everything Wrong” was chosen. The title intrigued me, but as I started reading, I could not stop. I am not sure if it was Ms. Hadeed’s storytelling abilities or that I could identify with the heartache that comes with running a business!
Background
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Kristen was going to college in Florida and she wanted to buy a pair of jeans that cost $100. In order to earn the money, she decided to clean a few houses. This grew into her starting a business called Student Maid. Kristen had hired 60 students to clean apartments and on a hot 100 degree summer day 45 of those students came to her when she was relaxing in the air conditioned clubhouse and quit. The book is a story about her transformation of an almost comically inept leader to a sought-after CEO who teaches others how to lead. She gave hugs instead of feedback, fixed errors instead of enforcing accountability, and hosted parties instead of cultivating meaningful relationships. It’s a story of how she was successful, not despite her mistakes, but because of them.
Lawsuit:
Early on Kristen’s father, an attorney, recommended that she trademark her business name to make sure there were no problems. Christine ignored his counsel and later received a letter from an attorney telling her she’s being sued for using the name StudentMaid.She called her dad to have him get her out of this mess, but he refused. She was being sued for infringing upon a business that had already trademarked that name. Looking back, Kristen realizes how her dad in this situation helped her grow into a person that can solve problems on her own.
| Employee Issues:
Kayla was constantly late and absent. Kristen would change her schedule to accommodate her. Kristen did not want to fire Kayla and would get into fights with the leadership team about it. It was fear of being a failure. Come to find out, Kayla had a drinking problem. Encouraging her to get the help she needs, Kayla thanked Kristen for firing her. Maria, one of Kristen’s longest employees and a valuable member of her executive team gave notice. At first, Kristen beat herself up saying she was a terrible leader, the company will never be able to compete, and it is not fair! Every time someone quits, it was a reminder of her fear…that everyone would eventually leave and she would be alone to run it all. She was afraid of losing wonderful people. But, even when you treat people like gold, people will move on. You cannot stop them, nor should you. Send them off with love, not resentment. Leaders don’t clip wings; they help people get their wings and then stand back when they’re ready to use them.
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| Bad decisions lead to great leadership
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In anticipation of landing a large contract, Kristen got a business loan for $10,000. She was going to use the money to buy supplies. Instead, the first thing she did was to spend thousands of dollars taking friends out for sushi. The next thing she did was to purchase coffee mugs, pins, and magnets. Looking back, she realized she could not cover payroll with advertising items, and how embarrassed she was spending money on sushi. When she graduated college she decided to throw a party and invited many of the employees. Together they were slurping Jell-O shots and the thought that was the best way to build relationships. She was embarrassed thinking about how she did keg stands and had people holding her legs that worked for her. Keg stands are not the way to build trust have mutual respect as a leader.
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| Reading and Leadership:
Kristen is in a mastermind group where they share ideas and help each other grow their business.
She quickly learned in these meetings how to become a better leader.
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| Instead of doing keg stands on Friday nights, she spent many nights in a bookstore skimming every book so she could to read and learn how to be a better leader. Her two favorite books were “Three Signs of a Miserable Job” by Patrick Lencioni and “Delivering Happiness” by Tony Hsieh, who is the owner of Zappos. She earned a lot about company culture and how to hire for the right fit. While making mistakes, she learned how to create a hiring process where she could trust others to hire in her company.
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Shepherd’s Pie:
Kristin has a code word “shepherd’s pie” and that means that she has to drop everything because something went terribly wrong. She was traveling and got a text as she was boarding the airplane. Kristen did not call the office to fix the “fire” and come to the rescue. After she landed, she saw a message that started out saying call ASAP and then ended with everything is okay because her team handled the emergency. This situation became the process for all emergencies. They were smart and could find the answers without Kristen flying in to solve it!
Like parents need to work on their marriage for the benefit of the kids, Kristen found that it was just as important for managers to get together and bond away from the office. She would find group deals where they could get away on a retreat for 4 to 5 days. This is where David and his team would plan out business decisions, make improvements, as well as bond with each other sharing personal situations. This is where she would care for them as a person, rather than an employee. Kristen’s brutally honest and open kimono stories of her business struggles encourages us to embrace our failures and proves that we will be better leaders when we do!
